Over the past couple days the brilliant minds of Old Spice marketing have released Youtube videos documenting fan feedback about their spoke-person’s opinions (or “facts” as he would probably call them). In one of the episodes a person by the username pandarr on Reddit requested a video for his voicemail system in which fans quickly asked for a soundboard to. Later @knitmeapony on Twitter requested one for the ladies. And here you have it, my soundboard of those Youtube videos.
On Reddit, Pandarr: “We need the audio to build our own voice mail messages.” Anything I can do to help Pandarr. Hello, you have dialed. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0. The tall accomplished man you have dialed cannot come to the phone right now because they’re. Ripping out mass loads of weights. Polishing their model smile. Cracking walnuts with their man mind. Building an orphanage with their bare hands while playing sweet sweet lullaby for those children with two mallets against their abs-xylophone. But leave a message and they’ll return your call as soon as possible. I’m on a horse. I’m on a boat. Swan dive. This voicemail is now diamonds. Do da do do do do do do. You’re welcome Pandarr.
Knitmeapony tweets, “Us ladies would like to have your melodious tones as our voice mail message too.” Well Knitmeapony, here goes. Hello goddess. The lovely/talented/intelligent and beautiful/sophisticated lady at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0 is unable to take your call. She’s busy. Ridding a horse backwards with me. Listening to me read romantic poetry while I make a bouquet of flowers from each read page. Ingesting my Old Spice man smell. Being serenaded on the moon while surviving off the oxygen in my lungs via a passionate kiss. Enjoying a delicious lobster dinner I prepared just for her while carrying her on my back through piranha infested waters. But she’ll get back to you as soon as she can. Thanks for calling.