Daniel Slaughter

Over the past couple days the brilliant minds of Old Spice marketing have released Youtube videos documenting fan feedback about their spoke-person’s opinions (or “facts” as he would probably call them). In one of the episodes a person by the username pandarr on Reddit requested a video for his voicemail system in which fans quickly asked for a soundboard to. Later @knitmeapony on Twitter requested one for the ladies. And here you have it, my soundboard of those Youtube videos.

Click here for the Old Spice Voicemail Soundboard

Video Transcript

On Reddit, Pandarr: “We need the audio to build our own voice mail messages.” Anything I can do to help Pandarr. Hello, you have dialed. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0. The tall accomplished man you have dialed cannot come to the phone right now because they’re. Ripping out mass loads of weights. Polishing their model smile. Cracking walnuts with their man mind. Building an orphanage with their bare hands while playing sweet sweet lullaby for those children with two mallets against their abs-xylophone. But leave a message and they’ll return your call as soon as possible. I’m on a horse. I’m on a boat. Swan dive. This voicemail is now diamonds. Do da do do do do do do. You’re welcome Pandarr.

Knitmeapony tweets, “Us ladies would like to have your melodious tones as our voice mail message too.” Well Knitmeapony, here goes. Hello goddess. The lovely/talented/intelligent and beautiful/sophisticated lady at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 0 is unable to take your call. She’s busy. Ridding a horse backwards with me. Listening to me read romantic poetry while I make a bouquet of flowers from each read page. Ingesting my Old Spice man smell. Being serenaded on the moon while surviving off the oxygen in my lungs via a passionate kiss. Enjoying a delicious lobster dinner I prepared just for her while carrying her on my back through piranha infested waters. But she’ll get back to you as soon as she can. Thanks for calling.

Enjoy!
Daniel Slaughter

Saturday, March 13 2:00pm
Joshua Clayton, Thoughtbot, Web Developer
Nathan Smith, 960 Grid System
Nicole Sullivan, Author of OOCSS
Chris Eppstein, Caring
Beau Smith, Square Inc, UX/UI Designer

Session Description

Cars were trampled, smashed, slapped, and covered in blood as an official count of 3370 people slowly walked as zombies through the streets of downtown Grand Rapids on October 30th from 9:30pm to 10:00pm. All different types, styles, and colors of zombies appeared out of no where as they collected at Rosa Parks Circle to attempt the World Record for the Largest Zombie Walk. The previous record was held by Pittsburgh with a measly 1375 people! Now that Grand Rapids holds the world record we’ll have to see what sweet things our city can do next!

As I entered my apartment I had but one thing in my hand, a package of bank checks. There, on the floor stood the deadliest animal known to man: a mouse. Survival instincts had show me in previous attempts with hideous creatures, such as flys, that all creates can be squished. In one quick motion I lifted my arm, released, and my package of check books quickly became my only source of survival. A quick slap and laying on the floor was my victor. He didn’t even stand a chance to the precision of my deadly throwing arm. May this go to show all mice in future generations: don’t enter my lair!

Dan: he seem a little energetic.
Ben: I was at first
Ben: Everyone was
Dan: lol… you were not ever energetic.
Dan: http://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Aenergetic
Ben: Yea….

A recent project I just completed for Judith Snow allows you to post a confusing everyday question and have a response in less than 24 hours. Judith Snow, M.A. is a psychotherapist, certified addictions counselor in private practice, and published author residing in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Here is a blurb from her new website, I Need a Reality Check (ineedarealitycheck.com):

“Are you in a situation that is leaving you stumped? Do you have a scenario that you just need to run by someone? Would you value an objective Reality Check by a licensed mental health professional? Are there times when you’d rather not lean on a friend or family member when you want an opinion? If you answered Yes to any of the preceding questions, then I Need a Reality Check is the perfect venue. You’ll receive an answer in 24 hours or less, but the tougher questions may take longer.”

Make sure you check out Judith’s new website and tell me what you think,
Daniel Slaughter

Wee Wee Stats is a project Mike Rapin and I thought up and developed to answer the scientific questions, “How often do I pee and poop?” and “Do I pee and/or poop more during the winter or the summer? Does it really matter the season?”

This new fandangled device uses Twitter, a Web 2.0 device to track the little things you do in life, as its data collection. To sign into Wee Wee Stats you’ll first need to register a twitter username. This username will give you access to text messaging, using many programs, or just using Twitter’s website to enter your restroom usage.

If you’re already familiar with Twitter then you simply need to do one of these:
d wwst 1
d wwst 2
d wwst 2 home corn

Yes children, “home” and “corn” are tags! Like every other sweet website out there we let you tag your restroom experiences so you can look back later and compare. It’ll also work amazingly for upcoming statistics and graphs.

It’s sweet! Check it out,
Daniel Slaughter

Because he is running for president someday, Ben likes to keep his under aged drinking habits a secret:

Dan: I hear you’ve been a MIP
Ben: No never
Dan: they said you tried beer.
Ben: You can’t talk about this over AIM, its unencrypted

Ben: Maybe its better if we talk on the phone, I can call you

I bought a something from the somethingstore.com and, after waiting 17 days, finally got it. Although I had envisioned getting something awesome to my surprise it was not.

The item I purchased for $10 ended up being worthless beyond all belief. I got Einsteinian Gluons; an Einstein themed sticky note book. What computer science geek would use sticky notes? I suppose I could label my computers time to time.

A couple other guys in the office got a something too. They both got the same thing which ended up being an inexpensive coffee mug (lame!).

Here are some pictures of my mysterious purchase:

For those of you who are interested, the actual cost of my something is less than $6 on Amazon.

Vote for your favorite Google Doodles from Lower-Education Children!